Sunday, March 23, 2008

how i spent my Easter with my hole family and it was great until Faith-Ann runned it.

today is my twelth blog so ill tell how i spent my Easter with my hole family and it was great until Faith-Ann runned it. we all ways get to gether for the holiday with every body even my dog Luke who stays in the other room while we eat becuase he STEALS FOOD FROM POEPLES PLAITS AND BARKS!!!!!!!

in case you are an athiest and didnt know we sellibrate Easter because Jesus Christ had a rest erection on it. he was in a toom that belonged to Joseph of Arithmia but when poeple went to check on Him He WASNT THERE!!!!!! He went to Heave to live with His father God and they ate a big meal includeing alot of candy i think. i dont know what kind of candy they had back then becuase its not in the bible but mabye chockalit bunnys and jelly beans and peeps becuase thats what my family ALL WAYS HAVE!!!! and my family IS GOOD CHRISTIANS so THEY KNOW!!!!! Jesus and God must of liked candy alot becuase WHO DOESNT??????

We sat down to have our meal and it was dullicious. We had ham stakes with pie napple and french canned cut string beans (YUMM!!!! but i think the green giant is amercian not french) smoothered in i cant beleive its not better and candid yams with marsh mellows becuase i told you Jesus had a sweetooth and pees and carets and grape jiuce or diet cock for me and home made bread (we got it in the backery at my store) and if you wanted brockly which no body in my family likes but its good for you SO YOU HAVE TO!!!!!!! Then we had jelo with friut cock tale in it and frozzen peach gobbler from sara lie and we put ben and jerrys cherry gracias on it. (in case you are wondering, gracias is Mexican for god bless you even thouhg ben and jerrys are jews who crossfied Jesus but beleive it or not they MAKE GOOD ICE CREAM!!!!!!!)

so we were haveing a nice time and looking at old pictures of Faith-Ann and I when we were little girls and every body agreed that i was pritter. then out of the clear blues guy Faith-Ann said guess what every body???? and every body siad what Faith-Ann?????? and she said Trinity has a blog FOR ATHIESTS!!!!!!!!! and my mother said whats a blog and my father siad a blog is a comeputter thing where you say stuff and poeple read it and my mother siad you TALK INTO YOUR COMEPUTTER TRINITY??????? and Faith-Ann said NO SHE WRITES!!!!!!! and my mother said Trinity writes? since when does Trinity writes????? and Faith-Ann said since she has a blog FOR ATHIESTS. and my mother said whats a blog again????? and my father yelled at her for not lissoning and my mother said she was destructed by how good the jelo was and my father oxplaned again that a blog is like the Internette only you do it your slef.

and then my mother asked me “how come you write for athiests? are you trying to get them to take Jesus Christ into there hart thats a brave thing to do but very dangeris becuase they all pray TO SATIN!!!!!!! and if your not careful trinity they will get you to pray TO SATIN TO. and i siad first of all i dont write for athiests and secondly they will not get me to pray TO SATIN becuase im smarter than them. and my father lauhged and my mother siad thats hard for me to beleive dear becuase athiests are very tricky and your not tricky AT ALL!!!!!!! youre just sweet and nigh eve.

and then Faith-Anns mother siad id be unbareassed if MY DAUHGTER wrote FOR ATHIESTS!!!! and Faith-Anns father siad bud out Mona and Faith-Anns mother siad why dont you have some more jelo with friut cock tale Bill and keep your mouth closed while your chewing???? and my father lauhged and Faith-Anns father siad whats so funny Pete and my father siad ill anwser you when your finished with your jelo becuase i dont want your pair landing on my face. and Faith-Anns father siad we can settle this out side Pete and my father siad its raining and its cold. so they went to watch sprots with Luke on tv.

and my mother said trinity i think you shoud stop your whats it called again? and Faith-Ann said a blog it rimes with fog which is what TRINITY IS IN!!!!!!!! and my mother siad Faith-Anns right you shoulndt talk to athiests becuase they will get you sick from SATIN. and i siad G. wiz just becuase i some times put out on the Internette and athiests come doesnt mean ill GET SICK FROM SATIN AND HIS CUTIES. (if you dont know, cuties are like little bugs that you get from a person you dont like). i hate Satin more than any thing but i dont think you can ever get cuties by writeing on a blog. EVEN FROM SATIN!!!!!!!! Faith-Ann is just jelos becuase i have ALOT OF NEW FIENDS!!!!!!!! and shes not INCLUED!!!!!!

and then Faith-Ann called me a witch and her mother dissided they should leave and yelled come on Bill and Faith-Anns father yelled the games not over and Faith-Anns mother yelled it IS FOR YOU and Faith-Anns father yelled five more minutes and Faith-Anns mother yelled WRITE NOW and Faith-Anns father yelled JESUS CHRIST and Faith-Anns mother yelled are you taking the lords name IN VEIN Bill we can show you Trinitys thing if you want to see it and you can meet plenty of athiests who take the lords name in vein and you can all go to hell to gether but WHOS GOING TO WASH YOUR LAWNDRY?????? so then Faith-Anns father left too.

and then my mother held my hands and siad i should all ways make sure to say Jesus loves you when ever i write and so i will. so here it is. Jesus loves you. even if you are an athiest and He sends you to hell.

but really you should pray to Him becuase i think if you die and go to Heave their are ALOT OF FREE PEEPS!!!!!!!!!

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

why i was diss appointed at a Christian show i saw at Faith-Ann's house and we had a fight

today is my elventh blog so ill tell why i was diss appointed at a Christian show i saw at Faith-Ann’s house and we had a fight. we were flipping around different relgious channels and we saw this hansom pastor on to talk about the Bible only he was from some crazy sex that didnt use the regular Bible just the King Jane’s vergin. in case you dont know thats the one with all the extra ths in words like God has a lisp. and its hard to understand becuase its about three thousand years old not like the real Bible which is in PLANE ENGLISH becuase JESUS WANTS EVERY BODY TO GET IT!!!!!!!

so this hansom pastor was saying that there are actualy two different storys of the cremation. but thats UNPOSSABLE!!!!!!!!!! becuase we all know that God made stuff only ONE TIME!!!! every body knows theres not two different earths and two different moons and two different sons. theres JUST ONE!!!!!! its not like the 3 stogges where theres Moe Larry and Curly and Shemp too and even Curly Joe thats FIVE!!!!!!! when God makes some thing he doesnt need SPARES!!!!!!!! Hes NOT THE 3 STOGGES!!!!!!!

but the pastor said that in the first vergin God just made poeple by snapping His fingers or blinking His eyes or rinkling His nose or mabye shaking some other part of His body its not spesific. but Faith-Ann and me thouhgt dirty and lauhged even though that was bad of us to do but God should of said what he shook if he didnt want us to. but in the second vergin He formed a man from dust and He breathed into the mans nostrils like artifishle perspiration. and then He made a woman from the mans rib. that must of hurt so i cant under stand why God didnt just pick up some more dust since he was so good at it and theres plenty of it around even UNDER MY BED!!!!!!!!!!! so thats suppose to be two different. but its not ITS THE SAME!!!!!!!!! when God wrote the Bible he relized that he didnt give enouhg information in chapter 1 so he wrote some more in chapter 2. He just tells some thing he forgot to say that ALL READY HAPPENED!!!!!! you prabobly learned in middle school thats called a HATCHBACK!!!!!!

so then the hansom pastor said that the next part of the story about Adam and Eve and the sirpant and the tree of knowlidge is just an alligator. and the hansom pastor explaned that an alligator is a story that says one thing but means a HOLE DIFFERENT THING!!!!!! so Adam and Eve are really cavemen and the sarpint is really SATIN and the apple is really mabye a pair or a kwince what ever that is and the Garden of Eden is really like just some O.A. sis in the dessert but God is still God becuase WHO ELSE COULD HE BE???????? and then the hansom pastor started to talk about Bible Herman Oodicks, who i never heard of but we figured out that hes some guy who once interpetted the Bible wrong. so Faith-Ann got annoyed and even thouhg the pastor was hansom she changed the channel to a repeat of fiends where joey is really funny and hes as hansom as the pastor only not as Christian.

so i could tell Faith-Ann was not endjoying fiends and i asked her whats wrogn Faith-Ann would you rather watch a 3 stooges DDV and she said do you think that guy was an athiest? and i said who JOEY???? and she said no the hansom pastor. and i said definatly no way he was an athiest, he was a Christian only just NOT A TRUE ONE!!!. and she said your just trying to protect your pals THE ATHIESTS who READ YOUR BLOG. and i said Christians read my blog too like cfl and kem and JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!! and she said oh no Jesus would die if He read your blog. and i said Jesus cant die He all ready did when He was crossfied and then He rose from the dead and Hes not going to die again becuase WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT???????? and then Faith-Ann called me a SATIN-LOVER and i called her a bad word that starts with B and ends with what you scratch and she said i better go home so i did.

and now i cant stop thinking about that hansom pastor. why cant an ugly pastor be wrogn and a hansom pastor be RIGHT?????? God works in misterous ways!!!!!!! and the biggest mistery is why Faith-Ann is my cuzzen becuase alot of the time i CANT STAND HER!!!!!!! even worse than SHEMP!!!!!!!!!


love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Tuesday, March 4, 2008

what ill write about a mime that i got tagged by the owel guy with

today is my tenth blog so ill tell what ill write about a mime that i got tagged by the owel guy with. i dont under stand why its called a mime becuase obvously you cant ACT OUT stuff on your blog you just have to write about it!!!!!!! so im suppose to share 6 non-importent things or hobits or quarks about yourself. every thing about me is non-importent oxcept i love Jesus so i have a lot to chews from.

1. i once watched a tv show about Charles Dickens and evillusion. a cording to Charles Dickens life on earth is like a million years old. thats not true since the bible makes it only about six thou sand years if you start from when god first suppurated the earth from the ferna mints. then if you count up how old every body in the bible was and add it up it comes to about six thou sand. so Charles Dickens was wrogn. but heres where he was REALLY off bass!!!!!!! he thouhgt we came from MONKEYS!!!!!! i cant under stand how athiests BELEIVE THAT becuase obvously we are much smarter then monkeys????? and most of us look better too oxcept for really ugly poeple who might look like a girla or an orange-or-tang or a chimp pansy. Faith-Ann if your reading this im talking ABOUT YOU!!!!!!! also monkeys dont have a SOLE but most of us do oxcept for athiests who worship SATIN!!!!!! and Charles Dickens shoud know better than a million years becuase he wrote a Christmas carol and thats a nice book NOT ATHIEST!!!!!!! so in the middle of the show i felt sick to my stummick and i all most throuhg up oxcept i didnt, i changed the channel and watched dele or not dele.

2. my favrite color is white. i think its becuase Jesus wore white all the time in all the pictures of Him. i have a lot of white things, mostly under where but also socks and a skirt and a hat and even FOUR OR FIVE blice!!!!!!! if you see some body wearing a lot of white its prabobly me. but mabye not if i dont live near the person you saw. its prabobly not Jesus either but it COULD BE!!!!!!!!!!

3. when i was little my pastor once TOUCHED ME IN A BAD PLACE!!!!!!!! i dont think he ever touched any other kids. it was a long time a go on a chruch yuoth gruop feild trip and we went to the musuem to see art and one of the pantings was nakked and i started getting historical. so my pastor patted me on the head and he told all the kids “w’ed better leave this bad place.” so that was how he touched me on the head IN A BAD PLACE. to this day ive never went there again becuase i dont need to see that kind of dirty stuff onless im a doctor which im NOT!!!!!!!!!!

4. my favrite drink is diet cock. some days i cant get enouhg of it in my mouth, prabobly a big one about evry TO OR THREE hours. i also like diet dr pecker. but if its really cold out side i might just have to tease (or three).

5. i dream about Jesus all most every night but im usully a wake when i do. i mean i close my eyes and i think about him but i dont fall a sleep becuase im affrayed to because i once had a dream where i was all most crossfied insted of him and i kept telling every body “im NOT JESUS. im JUST TRINITY!!!!!!!!” and no one would beleive me becuase Jesus was wearing an out fit that made Him look like me even the same hair doo and some body made me wear an out fit that made me look like Jesus oxcept no beard and also i had on my white lacy anklets. but the romins didnt see what i was wearing even thouhg i kept telling them “i cant be JESUS!!!!!!! i have no beard AND i have WHITE LACY ANKLETS!!!!!!! lucky for me i woke up before the nails becuase that would of HURT!!!!!!!!! and if i was crossfied i wonder if there would be a relgion called TRINITYANITY today??????? just in case your wandering, thouhg. i think my mother was NOT a version when she had me. but i never came out and asked her becuase i dont want to insulate her.

6. Faith-Ann is the worst cuzzen any body ever had. she said i would go to HELL if i did an athiest mime and here i am so i DIDNT. i think shes just jellos becuase i have so many new freinds that even thouhg they dont love Jesus they still seem to like ME!!!!!!!!!!!! mabye they woulndt like me so much if my dream was true and i was crossfied instead of Jesus and i died for there sins but in case you are an athiest and dont know, i didnt and He did. and SATIN didnt either!!!!!!!!! so STOP beleiving in him becuase hes not as good as Jesus even when Jesus has my dress and my braids on!!!!!!!!

thats my mime and im suppose to tag other poeple but i wont becuase i think its stupid. so if your reading this and you have a blog just write about what ever you want to write about and dont worry about a mime or six things or even any bad hobits you have. to tell you the truth i dont think your bad hobits are ANY OF MY BIZNESS and i prabobly DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THEM if their really discusseding!!!!!

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),