Sunday, June 8, 2008

how i got in an arguemint with LC and then Faith-Ann said some thing stupid too

today is my thirtenth blog and as you can unmagine i was putting it off becuase 13 is a very unlucky number EVEN IF YOUR A GOOD CHRISTIAN!!!!!!! Jesus must of been affrayed of 13 becuase he only picked 12 apostates and he only made 12 years in a month and he only put 12 eggs in a doze and there are only 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! so he all ways stopped befour 13 and that proves he was scarred of 13 or he woud of had a nother day of Christmas since its the BEST HOLIDAY and a nother egg so they woud be cheeper!!!! i dont get why he hates 13 so much becuase he coud have skipped it when he was making numbers and we coud just go rihgt from 12 to 14. but the Lord works in mister E’s ways. so why try to under stand Him becuase its unposible!

but i dicided to write today becuase i got in a big fihgt with LC at Spinnach Inc even thouhg LC dint say any thing back to me yet prabolly becuase he has nothing to say. SO I WIN!!!!!!! HA!!!!!! LC says he is a Christain. but i think HE MAY BE SATIN becuase in a long fullosofacle arguemint that no body coud under stand becuase he never makes any cense he keeps asking if mabye evil never was or mabye was but has all ready been apolished!!!!!!!! i think long fullosofacle arguemints are just a waist of time and not good for Christians becuase they make you think too much mostly about Greek stuff which who cares onless you do Greek??????? which i dont becuase i woud never stoop so low. im 100 per cent Amercian even on my mothers side which came from germinny about a hun dred years ago before the syphal war.

i dont know about you but when LC says theres no evil or its all ready apolished it sounds like SATIN makeing beleive that hes not so bad after all. even thouhg HES THE WURST!!!!!!! so i think LC may be Satin or mabye just one of Satins helpers but still pretty bad. but prabolly Satin.

so i asked my paster if evil never was or was all ready apolished. and he siad trinity thats rediculis. cant you think of any thing bad in this world? and i said Shemp becuase hes definatly the bad one in the 3 stogges but luckally hes not in two many. and my pastor siad you see????? there IS BAD IN THE WORLD.

so that proves it EVEN TO ATHIESTS who pray to Satin. so watch out athiests becuase in case you did’nt know it you are praying to some body WHO IS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!

then out of the blues my cuzzen Faith-Ann asked me about my bog and siad to me how come you never put out for athiests any more???? and i told her i was going to do one today. and she said what will this be about trinity? how much you wish you were an athiest too but you cant be becuase your a Christian???? and i siad no smarty it will be a pose about how LC is prabolly Satin in disgust and how Satin is still bad even thouhg LC says hes mabye not.

and Faith-Ann assed me how i know LC and who she is and i siad i think LC is a boy not a girl and Faith-Ann siad thats crazy because LC is the name of a girl and i said no not Elsie like the cow but LC like the alphabet. and i siad i know him from spinnachs log and aslo from chaplins. and Faith-Ann asked me about spinnach and about chaplin and when i told her they were athiests she siad well i dont know LC but im on her side against athiests any day. and i asked Faith-Ann if she thouhgt there was still evil in this world and she siad YES YOU TRINITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so we got in a big fihgt and she called me some bad names that definatly exist. and i yelled if she was one of the 3 stogges she woud be Shemp and then she got insulated. it was all becuase she dint even relize that she was on my side and not LCs. if thats not bad I DONT KNOW WHAT IS??? so my paster is rihgt and LC is wrogn, wrogn, WROGN!!!!!!!!!

and now i dont know who im madder at LC or Faith-Ann???????? but im glad LC is not my cuzzen becuase ONE DUM RELLATIVE IS ENOUHG!!!!!!!


love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Sunday, March 23, 2008

how i spent my Easter with my hole family and it was great until Faith-Ann runned it.

today is my twelth blog so ill tell how i spent my Easter with my hole family and it was great until Faith-Ann runned it. we all ways get to gether for the holiday with every body even my dog Luke who stays in the other room while we eat becuase he STEALS FOOD FROM POEPLES PLAITS AND BARKS!!!!!!!

in case you are an athiest and didnt know we sellibrate Easter because Jesus Christ had a rest erection on it. he was in a toom that belonged to Joseph of Arithmia but when poeple went to check on Him He WASNT THERE!!!!!! He went to Heave to live with His father God and they ate a big meal includeing alot of candy i think. i dont know what kind of candy they had back then becuase its not in the bible but mabye chockalit bunnys and jelly beans and peeps becuase thats what my family ALL WAYS HAVE!!!! and my family IS GOOD CHRISTIANS so THEY KNOW!!!!! Jesus and God must of liked candy alot becuase WHO DOESNT??????

We sat down to have our meal and it was dullicious. We had ham stakes with pie napple and french canned cut string beans (YUMM!!!! but i think the green giant is amercian not french) smoothered in i cant beleive its not better and candid yams with marsh mellows becuase i told you Jesus had a sweetooth and pees and carets and grape jiuce or diet cock for me and home made bread (we got it in the backery at my store) and if you wanted brockly which no body in my family likes but its good for you SO YOU HAVE TO!!!!!!! Then we had jelo with friut cock tale in it and frozzen peach gobbler from sara lie and we put ben and jerrys cherry gracias on it. (in case you are wondering, gracias is Mexican for god bless you even thouhg ben and jerrys are jews who crossfied Jesus but beleive it or not they MAKE GOOD ICE CREAM!!!!!!!)

so we were haveing a nice time and looking at old pictures of Faith-Ann and I when we were little girls and every body agreed that i was pritter. then out of the clear blues guy Faith-Ann said guess what every body???? and every body siad what Faith-Ann?????? and she said Trinity has a blog FOR ATHIESTS!!!!!!!!! and my mother said whats a blog and my father siad a blog is a comeputter thing where you say stuff and poeple read it and my mother siad you TALK INTO YOUR COMEPUTTER TRINITY??????? and Faith-Ann said NO SHE WRITES!!!!!!! and my mother said Trinity writes? since when does Trinity writes????? and Faith-Ann said since she has a blog FOR ATHIESTS. and my mother said whats a blog again????? and my father yelled at her for not lissoning and my mother said she was destructed by how good the jelo was and my father oxplaned again that a blog is like the Internette only you do it your slef.

and then my mother asked me “how come you write for athiests? are you trying to get them to take Jesus Christ into there hart thats a brave thing to do but very dangeris becuase they all pray TO SATIN!!!!!!! and if your not careful trinity they will get you to pray TO SATIN TO. and i siad first of all i dont write for athiests and secondly they will not get me to pray TO SATIN becuase im smarter than them. and my father lauhged and my mother siad thats hard for me to beleive dear becuase athiests are very tricky and your not tricky AT ALL!!!!!!! youre just sweet and nigh eve.

and then Faith-Anns mother siad id be unbareassed if MY DAUHGTER wrote FOR ATHIESTS!!!! and Faith-Anns father siad bud out Mona and Faith-Anns mother siad why dont you have some more jelo with friut cock tale Bill and keep your mouth closed while your chewing???? and my father lauhged and Faith-Anns father siad whats so funny Pete and my father siad ill anwser you when your finished with your jelo becuase i dont want your pair landing on my face. and Faith-Anns father siad we can settle this out side Pete and my father siad its raining and its cold. so they went to watch sprots with Luke on tv.

and my mother said trinity i think you shoud stop your whats it called again? and Faith-Ann said a blog it rimes with fog which is what TRINITY IS IN!!!!!!!! and my mother siad Faith-Anns right you shoulndt talk to athiests becuase they will get you sick from SATIN. and i siad G. wiz just becuase i some times put out on the Internette and athiests come doesnt mean ill GET SICK FROM SATIN AND HIS CUTIES. (if you dont know, cuties are like little bugs that you get from a person you dont like). i hate Satin more than any thing but i dont think you can ever get cuties by writeing on a blog. EVEN FROM SATIN!!!!!!!! Faith-Ann is just jelos becuase i have ALOT OF NEW FIENDS!!!!!!!! and shes not INCLUED!!!!!!

and then Faith-Ann called me a witch and her mother dissided they should leave and yelled come on Bill and Faith-Anns father yelled the games not over and Faith-Anns mother yelled it IS FOR YOU and Faith-Anns father yelled five more minutes and Faith-Anns mother yelled WRITE NOW and Faith-Anns father yelled JESUS CHRIST and Faith-Anns mother yelled are you taking the lords name IN VEIN Bill we can show you Trinitys thing if you want to see it and you can meet plenty of athiests who take the lords name in vein and you can all go to hell to gether but WHOS GOING TO WASH YOUR LAWNDRY?????? so then Faith-Anns father left too.

and then my mother held my hands and siad i should all ways make sure to say Jesus loves you when ever i write and so i will. so here it is. Jesus loves you. even if you are an athiest and He sends you to hell.

but really you should pray to Him becuase i think if you die and go to Heave their are ALOT OF FREE PEEPS!!!!!!!!!

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

why i was diss appointed at a Christian show i saw at Faith-Ann's house and we had a fight

today is my elventh blog so ill tell why i was diss appointed at a Christian show i saw at Faith-Ann’s house and we had a fight. we were flipping around different relgious channels and we saw this hansom pastor on to talk about the Bible only he was from some crazy sex that didnt use the regular Bible just the King Jane’s vergin. in case you dont know thats the one with all the extra ths in words like God has a lisp. and its hard to understand becuase its about three thousand years old not like the real Bible which is in PLANE ENGLISH becuase JESUS WANTS EVERY BODY TO GET IT!!!!!!!

so this hansom pastor was saying that there are actualy two different storys of the cremation. but thats UNPOSSABLE!!!!!!!!!! becuase we all know that God made stuff only ONE TIME!!!! every body knows theres not two different earths and two different moons and two different sons. theres JUST ONE!!!!!! its not like the 3 stogges where theres Moe Larry and Curly and Shemp too and even Curly Joe thats FIVE!!!!!!! when God makes some thing he doesnt need SPARES!!!!!!!! Hes NOT THE 3 STOGGES!!!!!!!

but the pastor said that in the first vergin God just made poeple by snapping His fingers or blinking His eyes or rinkling His nose or mabye shaking some other part of His body its not spesific. but Faith-Ann and me thouhgt dirty and lauhged even though that was bad of us to do but God should of said what he shook if he didnt want us to. but in the second vergin He formed a man from dust and He breathed into the mans nostrils like artifishle perspiration. and then He made a woman from the mans rib. that must of hurt so i cant under stand why God didnt just pick up some more dust since he was so good at it and theres plenty of it around even UNDER MY BED!!!!!!!!!!! so thats suppose to be two different. but its not ITS THE SAME!!!!!!!!! when God wrote the Bible he relized that he didnt give enouhg information in chapter 1 so he wrote some more in chapter 2. He just tells some thing he forgot to say that ALL READY HAPPENED!!!!!! you prabobly learned in middle school thats called a HATCHBACK!!!!!!

so then the hansom pastor said that the next part of the story about Adam and Eve and the sirpant and the tree of knowlidge is just an alligator. and the hansom pastor explaned that an alligator is a story that says one thing but means a HOLE DIFFERENT THING!!!!!! so Adam and Eve are really cavemen and the sarpint is really SATIN and the apple is really mabye a pair or a kwince what ever that is and the Garden of Eden is really like just some O.A. sis in the dessert but God is still God becuase WHO ELSE COULD HE BE???????? and then the hansom pastor started to talk about Bible Herman Oodicks, who i never heard of but we figured out that hes some guy who once interpetted the Bible wrong. so Faith-Ann got annoyed and even thouhg the pastor was hansom she changed the channel to a repeat of fiends where joey is really funny and hes as hansom as the pastor only not as Christian.

so i could tell Faith-Ann was not endjoying fiends and i asked her whats wrogn Faith-Ann would you rather watch a 3 stooges DDV and she said do you think that guy was an athiest? and i said who JOEY???? and she said no the hansom pastor. and i said definatly no way he was an athiest, he was a Christian only just NOT A TRUE ONE!!!. and she said your just trying to protect your pals THE ATHIESTS who READ YOUR BLOG. and i said Christians read my blog too like cfl and kem and JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!! and she said oh no Jesus would die if He read your blog. and i said Jesus cant die He all ready did when He was crossfied and then He rose from the dead and Hes not going to die again becuase WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT???????? and then Faith-Ann called me a SATIN-LOVER and i called her a bad word that starts with B and ends with what you scratch and she said i better go home so i did.

and now i cant stop thinking about that hansom pastor. why cant an ugly pastor be wrogn and a hansom pastor be RIGHT?????? God works in misterous ways!!!!!!! and the biggest mistery is why Faith-Ann is my cuzzen becuase alot of the time i CANT STAND HER!!!!!!! even worse than SHEMP!!!!!!!!!


love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Tuesday, March 4, 2008

what ill write about a mime that i got tagged by the owel guy with

today is my tenth blog so ill tell what ill write about a mime that i got tagged by the owel guy with. i dont under stand why its called a mime becuase obvously you cant ACT OUT stuff on your blog you just have to write about it!!!!!!! so im suppose to share 6 non-importent things or hobits or quarks about yourself. every thing about me is non-importent oxcept i love Jesus so i have a lot to chews from.

1. i once watched a tv show about Charles Dickens and evillusion. a cording to Charles Dickens life on earth is like a million years old. thats not true since the bible makes it only about six thou sand years if you start from when god first suppurated the earth from the ferna mints. then if you count up how old every body in the bible was and add it up it comes to about six thou sand. so Charles Dickens was wrogn. but heres where he was REALLY off bass!!!!!!! he thouhgt we came from MONKEYS!!!!!! i cant under stand how athiests BELEIVE THAT becuase obvously we are much smarter then monkeys????? and most of us look better too oxcept for really ugly poeple who might look like a girla or an orange-or-tang or a chimp pansy. Faith-Ann if your reading this im talking ABOUT YOU!!!!!!! also monkeys dont have a SOLE but most of us do oxcept for athiests who worship SATIN!!!!!! and Charles Dickens shoud know better than a million years becuase he wrote a Christmas carol and thats a nice book NOT ATHIEST!!!!!!! so in the middle of the show i felt sick to my stummick and i all most throuhg up oxcept i didnt, i changed the channel and watched dele or not dele.

2. my favrite color is white. i think its becuase Jesus wore white all the time in all the pictures of Him. i have a lot of white things, mostly under where but also socks and a skirt and a hat and even FOUR OR FIVE blice!!!!!!! if you see some body wearing a lot of white its prabobly me. but mabye not if i dont live near the person you saw. its prabobly not Jesus either but it COULD BE!!!!!!!!!!

3. when i was little my pastor once TOUCHED ME IN A BAD PLACE!!!!!!!! i dont think he ever touched any other kids. it was a long time a go on a chruch yuoth gruop feild trip and we went to the musuem to see art and one of the pantings was nakked and i started getting historical. so my pastor patted me on the head and he told all the kids “w’ed better leave this bad place.” so that was how he touched me on the head IN A BAD PLACE. to this day ive never went there again becuase i dont need to see that kind of dirty stuff onless im a doctor which im NOT!!!!!!!!!!

4. my favrite drink is diet cock. some days i cant get enouhg of it in my mouth, prabobly a big one about evry TO OR THREE hours. i also like diet dr pecker. but if its really cold out side i might just have to tease (or three).

5. i dream about Jesus all most every night but im usully a wake when i do. i mean i close my eyes and i think about him but i dont fall a sleep becuase im affrayed to because i once had a dream where i was all most crossfied insted of him and i kept telling every body “im NOT JESUS. im JUST TRINITY!!!!!!!!” and no one would beleive me becuase Jesus was wearing an out fit that made Him look like me even the same hair doo and some body made me wear an out fit that made me look like Jesus oxcept no beard and also i had on my white lacy anklets. but the romins didnt see what i was wearing even thouhg i kept telling them “i cant be JESUS!!!!!!! i have no beard AND i have WHITE LACY ANKLETS!!!!!!! lucky for me i woke up before the nails becuase that would of HURT!!!!!!!!! and if i was crossfied i wonder if there would be a relgion called TRINITYANITY today??????? just in case your wandering, thouhg. i think my mother was NOT a version when she had me. but i never came out and asked her becuase i dont want to insulate her.

6. Faith-Ann is the worst cuzzen any body ever had. she said i would go to HELL if i did an athiest mime and here i am so i DIDNT. i think shes just jellos becuase i have so many new freinds that even thouhg they dont love Jesus they still seem to like ME!!!!!!!!!!!! mabye they woulndt like me so much if my dream was true and i was crossfied instead of Jesus and i died for there sins but in case you are an athiest and dont know, i didnt and He did. and SATIN didnt either!!!!!!!!! so STOP beleiving in him becuase hes not as good as Jesus even when Jesus has my dress and my braids on!!!!!!!!

thats my mime and im suppose to tag other poeple but i wont becuase i think its stupid. so if your reading this and you have a blog just write about what ever you want to write about and dont worry about a mime or six things or even any bad hobits you have. to tell you the truth i dont think your bad hobits are ANY OF MY BIZNESS and i prabobly DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THEM if their really discusseding!!!!!

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Monday, February 25, 2008

what i was doing all day long while i was writing hi-coos at Faith-Anns house

today is my ninth blog so ill say what i was doing all day long while i was writing hi-coos at Faith-Anns house. theyre a kind of pome that Faith-Ann learned about a hundread years ago in like ninth grade but never told me until today when i peaked at her old germal and found one. this is what it says.

I adore Jesus,
alot alot alot yes,
and he loves me too!

so i said whats this Faith-Ann and she said its a pome. and i said its not a pome becuase it doesnt rime or any thing and its too short. and why did you put in that stupid yes when it doesnt mean any thing. who are you saying YES TO??????? and it uses alot THREE times!!!!!! but she said oh its a pome all write. the first line has five sillybles and the second line has seven sillybles and the the thrid line has five sillybles again. you just need to count on your fingers one-two-three, etx. if its right you have wrote a hi-coo. so since she was in ninth grade and this is my ninth blog i thouhgt it was a poperiate so i tried one.

Faith-Ann is my freind
(she is also my CUZZEN)!!!!!!
our MOMS are SISTERS!!!!!!!!!.

that was really easy for me. Faith-Ann tried to count it so it would be wrong but she couldnt. so i wrote another one. it was easy AND sad AND true.

i feel sorry for
athiests because they all
beleive in SATIN!!!!!!

Faith-Ann counted that one and got angry. she told me she had to count for about an hour until she figured out how many times to say alot. how come it is so simpel for ME???????? i said maybe Jesus Christ gave me the special gift to please poeple with my pomes and she said thats stupid youre speling and gramma are at roaches. he could not have chose a worse person for a wrider. so i wrote ANOTHER hi-coo fast. this one was a hi-coo ABOUT hi-coos and it really got Faith-Ann BURNT out of SHAPE!!!!!!!!!

who thinks this is HARD?????
i cant beleive how easy
it is to write pomes.

and then while Faith-Ann was counting, i wrote these.

are writing pomes hard??????
NO!!!!!!! hi-coos are very fun
they are so easy.

the only person
who thinks hi-coos are tricky
is cuzzen Faith-Ann.

ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha HA!!!!!!!!!!!

she counted every ha about a hundred times. i know she was hopeing i used the wrogn sillybles but i didnt. while she was doing that i wrote these hi-coos about some other pomes i used to know.

in school we studied
robert frost (a BIG poet)
did he write this stuff??????

he wrote about roads
divulging in a forest
and he had to pick.

we also studied
the guy who wrote the raven
edward something pone.

his pome is about
a raven which keeps saying
nope never again.

(i dont think that he
ever wrote any hi-coos
but i could be wrogn)???

i like the guy who
wrote about the dog coming
on little cats feet.

i cant remember
what that cats feet guy’s name is
something like sandwich??????

when i was little
i heard a really good pome
about Paul Revere

listen to this kids.
thats all i can remember.
that was the first line.

there was also one
by alice n. wonderland.
she was the writer

jibberjabber walk.
the name of it made no sense.
and the rest niether.

my faverit poet
was a doctor in reel life.
heres a hint. GRINCHMAS!!!!!!!!!!

i like dr. suess.
hes funny and makes me laugh.
so WHO ELSE does that????????

the 3 stogges
Moe, Larry, Curly and, Shemp.
(but not Shemp so much!!!!!!)

Faith-Ann wrote some pomes
but she doesnt like my blog
so touhg luck for her!!!!!!!!!!!!

when she likes my blog
ill let her put up her pomes.
till then its TOO BAD!!!!!!!!!!

ill let athiests
read my pomes all they want to.
but not yours Faith-Ann!!!!!!

i never wrote pomes
before i tried this today.
im good at it right?

so mabye these pomes
will make athiests beleive
in Jesus and God.

for writing hi-coos
Jesus Christ loves me much more
than CUZZEN FAITH-ANN!!!!!!!!!!!

so thats when Faith-Ann got tiers in her eyes and yelled at me she was starting her period and i better go home becuase she was feeling really cranky.

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Monday, February 18, 2008

what happened when i was at the grossery store today

today is my eightth blog so ill say what happened when i was at the grossery store today. in case you didnt know, i work there store but im not going to say the pacific one becuase i dont want athiests who read here to come visit me and try to convict me to SATIN while im busy. its hard enouhg to ring every body up with the right prizes with out having to tell athiests no thank you im not intarrested in SATIN and by the way those nuts are on sale TWO FOR FIVE DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes i have to work on Sundays if the boss says so but he knows i go to church in the morning so he never makes me come unless he really wants me to. i dont mind coming but only after i give my love to Jesus Christ earlier. so i had to come today and that was O.k becuase i had Jesus in my heart all ready from chruch. and i felt so good that Jesus was with me that i wanted to spread Him around. He was crossfied for every body not just me so i cant have Him all to my self even if i wanted to which i dont becuase theirs alot of Jesus to go around to at least a hundred thousand million bilion poeple but some chruches beleive much more than that even athiests!!!!!!!

usully when im working if some one comes to my line i say hi and if i know there name i say hi that name (for egg sample, hi Faith-Ann, but only if shes really Faith-Ann). if i dont know there name i say just plain hi and smile. and then i ring the stuff up and ask them LOTS OF QUESTOINS!!!!!!!! do they have any cutepons? and cash, check, or plastick to pay? and then i ask them paper or plastick (a diffrent kind than how they pay) for bags? and poeple all ways answer my questoins becuase im nice and theyre easy. when im done i say have a nice day or if its some body i know mabye i say see you later, Faith-Ann (but only if shes really Faith-Ann).

but today i was feeling so good from chruch and from Jesus and also i was thinking about how funny the 3 stogges are and that all ways makes me feel good even Shemp!!!!!!! so i decided to tell my costumers have a BLESST DAY instead of a nice one. because if its BLESST it doesnt have to be nice.

so first two old ladys came throhg my line and i siad have a BLESST DAY and they patted me on the arm and said you two dear and i siad thanks. then Faith-Ann came just to say hi and to flip throuhg the national enqueer while she waited but not to buy any thing. but she all ways gets gum or a slim jim so i wont get in trubble for talking to her. and i siad have a BLESST DAY Faith-Ann and she said and have a BLESST DAY your self Trinity and we lauhged and then she paid and i forgot and said have a nice day by acident. then a mother came with three little children ALL NOISY and FIHGTING!!!! and she paid and i said have a BLESST DAY and she said yeah i wish and smacked her biggest boy for punching his sisters.

then a mean man came in my line and he bouhgt beer and ciggarrettes and a magazin about sience and i should of knew to keep my mouth closed. but i said have a BLESST DAY and he siad what? and i siad have a BLESST DAY again and he said you have to be KIDDING me right?????? and i said no i really really really wanted him to have a BLESST DAY and so did JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!! and thats when he picked up his bag (paper) and siad i should bad word my self.

but dont worry. just so you know, i definatly WONT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Monday, February 11, 2008

what i was argueing about with my cuzzen Faith-Ann on the phone yesterday

today is my seventh blog so ill say what i was argueing about with my cuzzen Faith-Ann on the phone yesterday. first of all i have to tell you that i woke up with a bad cold with sneezzing and couhging and my nose was running and i coud hear my musuc sloshing around in my head. i was like a TV commershill for medisin only there was no sign under me that said i was an actor. because i WASNT!!!!!!!!!

so i called Faith-Ann and i said you better go to chruch with out me because im prabobly contrageous and ill give every body what i have and theyl be sick. but Faith-Ann said she bet i just didn’t want to go to chruch becuase ive been spending so much time with athiests all the time and their teaching me SATIN!!!!!!!! and i said thats a lie i dont spend any time with athiests and is it my falt if they READ MY BLOG???????? its a FREE cuntry and every body can read my blog if they WANT im not going to stop them even if i could which i CANT!!!!!!!!!!. And i dont know any thing about SATIN oxcept the good Christian stuff that i hear about him in chruch!!!!!!!

and Faith-Ann said dont i mind that Jesus will miss me at chruch, and that made me feel really gilty. and then she said that Jesus didnt come to Earth to be crossfied just so i could stay in bed on Sunday morning and eat my tricks and watch car tunes. and i promissed i wouldnt watch any thing funny oxcept only news like meat’s the prez and this weak with gorge steppopotamus and what ever is on fox.

then Faith-Ann said i should be a shame of my self and she would be over in fifteen minits and i better be waiting in front of the house or God would be anoid and its not worth getting God anoid just because of some cold. and i said dont you think God will be anoid if i get every body who loves Him sneezzing and couhging and hearing musuc like me? and Faith-Ann said God will cure them dont worry about that miss smarty pants. and I asked how come He didn’t cure me? and Faith-Ann said because i hang around all the time with athiests and i didnt pray hard enouhg. and that was prabobly right because i didnt pray AT ALL becuase i was SLEEPING when i got SICK and i just WOKE UP feeling louzy ALL OF A SODDEN!!!!!!!!!!!

so i got up and got dressed and forced my self to wait in front of the house till Faith-Ann came by and we walked to chruch to gether which isnt far only four blocks unless you have a BAD cold!!!!!!!! and my stommach felt really bad and i hate to say it but i throuhg up in the street. and Faith-Ann said it was digusting and it was just athiest poisin that was coming out. and then i started to yell no its not its just my bad cold but i throuhg up on her instead. unbelevible!!!!!!!!!!

so she said NOW I CANT GO TO CHRUCH!!!!!!!! and i said well dont you think God will be anoid if you dont go. and she said how can i go with YOUR vommit all over me and i said mabye Jesus will CLEAN IT UP if you PRAY HARD ENOUHG and she got mad and ran home. and i walked to my house by my self but didnt have a bad stommach any more even thouhg i was still sneezzing and couhging and my nose was running and my musuc was LOUD. so i got into bed and fell fast a sleep and when i woke up ten ours later i was all better.

so i called Faith-Ann to tell her that Jesus had cured me of my bad cold but she didnt want to talk because she was too busy couhging and sneezzing and head ach and running nose and hearing musuc (hers not mine). and she siad she was sorry for blameing me for athiest poisin mabye it was just a vyris and Jesus doesnt do so good with those they have to run their coarse. and i said thats O.k and she siad she should of let me stay in bed, athiests and Satin or not. and i asked her if she wanted me to bring over my 3 stogges DDV and she siad she better not becuase if she laughed she was affrayed mabye she would throw up too. so i watched it by my self and had a great time (even Shemp!). and today i feel all better and im still lauhging at how Moe knocked every bodys head to gether and also about how Faith-Ann looked with vommit all over her!

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Friday, February 8, 2008

what i was worying about when i couldnt sleep at for a clock a.d. in the morning

today is my sixth blog so ill say what i was worying about when i coudlnt sleep at for a clock a.d. in the morning. My cuzzen Faith-Ann was all eggsited this after noon. she called me on the phone and asked me to geuss what she saw on TV and i thouhgt mabye raychill ray was makeing some great jelo souprize ressippee. wrogn!!!!!!!!!. so i said i didnt know and she told me mitch romny drooped out of the ripubelicons.

i didnt like mitch romny because he belongs to a cult (morons) and he wears magic under pants which makes no sense. why would God make under pants magic when He could just as easy make your shirt and outside pants magic? He could make your shoos or your socks or even your hairdo magic if He wanted. So why UNDER pants??????? it doesnt make any sense even for God. just think about it. God can make ANY THING magic He wants to be magic which He doesnt because magic is from SATIN!!!!!!!!!!! but He could.

now it is just jhon mick cain and Mike Huckabee (yay!). our pastor says that jhon mick cain is not a true Christian and he doesnt care about God and Jesus Christ and the American Contusion and men marring men and women marring women and both of them marring dogs and cats and mabye roosters and sheep and fish and bats and birds and even dynasores for all we know and illegle immigrunts. jhon mick cain doesnt care!!!!! and he has a bus called the stray talk express and what else can you oxpect from some one who’s last name is CAIN, did you relize that? its not like hes jhon mick ABLE which would be better oxcept he might get killed one day in a feeld by some body named CAIN!!!!!!! so he would have to stay away from all sprots so he never went near feelds at all just to play it safe.

so Faith-Ann told me that most poeple on the news say that jhon mick cain is the fun trunner which i have no idea what it is becuase ive never trunned. i dont even know if its really FUN!!!!!!!!!! but i dont think a presedant should be trunning just for fun whatever it is because a presedant shoud be serios. and Mike Huckabee (yay!) is really serios. i heard some guy on TV say that it woud be really serios for the cuntry if Mike Huckabee (yay!) becomes the ripubelicon nonminee. and i agree.

so that sounds good, right? so your prabobly asking your self, why was i worying so much that i coudlnt sleep at for a clock a.d. in the morning. well i just coudnt get those magic UNDER pants out of my mind? and i geuss i must of fell asleep a little becuase i had a dream where raychill ray had Mike Huckabee (yay!) on her show and they were both making jelo souprize with magic UNDER pants IN IT!!!!!!!!! not only that but they were going to bring it to a weeding for two MEN and a chimp pansy!!!!!!!!!! and the 3 stogges were there (not Shemp thank God) and they kept throwing pies at every body and poking Mike Huckabee in the eyes and driveing a bus back and froth. and jhon mick cain began trunning even thouhg i didnt know what it was but it had some thing to do with trampulleens!!!!!!!!!!

and then the worst thing happened. the ripubelicons seemed so silly that Hillery Clinntin became presedant! so thats what woke me up and thats what i was worying about when i couldnt sleep at for a cock a.d. in the morning! if Mike Huckabee (yay!) goes on raychill ray he could start a hole change of events and then lose the presedant. so i was worying hed go on raychill ray. so i hope he just goes on opie instead.

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Tuesday, February 5, 2008

what i was praying to Jesus about while i was squeezzing a pimpel

today is my fifth blog so ill say what i was praying to Jesus about while i was squeezzing a pimpel. i offin have nice quite conversions with Jesus when im taking care of my skin particlearly if im doing some thing that hurts like tweezzing between my eye brows or squeezzing a pimpel. those things are really pain full but it makes it easyer for me to bare if i remember Jesus Christ. so i talk to Jesus and He makes me feel better by telling me, “if you think squeezzing a PIMPEL is bad you shoud of tried hanging on the CROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!”

so i was praying to Jesus today and i started thinking about all the athiests i met recently and how they’r DAMMED and maybe thats not fair if they dont know any better. so i said to Jesus is it fair for athiests to be DAMMED to HELLL????? and He siad yep. (i dont think he actualy said yep he prabobly said yes in a more Bibley way. but i dont rimember what he siad so i wrote yep. in case you dont know, that means yes only freindlier and Jesus is all our freind. in fact, He is our BEST freind!!!!!!).

He said its fair becuase they had their chance and they didn’t take it. so i siad what if they dont know about Christians and he said “are you KIDDING ME?????? who in the hole world doesnt know about CHRISTIANS????? this isnt a 3 stogges comidy!!!!!!!!! sheesh!!!. wer’e the BEST relgion and the BIGGEST relgion and the ONLY relgion thats TRUE!!!!!!!! so athiests know about Me dont kid your self. but they just dont want to beleive in Me becuase they dont have faith in Me AND they hate Me”.

sorry athiests but that made sense to me. so i asked Jesus, so how come athiests hate You. And he siad i dont know ask them im not an athiest. and sorry again athiests but that made sense to me to.

so i asked Jesus how come athiests dont have FAITH????? its obvous to every body You came to Earth to be our savor and was crossfied for our sins and now wer’e ALL saved oxsept mabye just a few dum poeple who arent Christian? and he siad athiests DO have faith. but just NOT IN Him.

and i asked Jesus what he ment? but by then i was finished with my pimpel and He disapeared while i was finding cotten for my puss.

so i called Faith-Ann and i told her that Jesus told me that athiests have faith just not in Him. did she beleive that? and Faith-Ann siad have you been talking to Jesus again? and I siad yep. and she said thats unpossible because poeple sometimes talk to Jesus but he usally doesnt anwser unless when your about to die or your in chruch or you need help desiding on some thing importint like what shoes. and she said "youre stupid athiest freinds arent importint enouhg for Jesus to talk to you." and she also said poeple cant just talk to Jesus any old time and i told her it wasnt any old time it was when i was squeezzing a pimpel and it HURT. and their not that stupid!!!!!! and their not my FREINDS!!!!!!

and then she told me they ARE that stupid becuase they have a stupid faith that theirs NO God. and i asked her to oxplane and she told me look. it cant be proved beyond a shad-O of a dout that theirs NO God right? so I siad of course not because there is. so she said athiests say there’s NO God but they cant prove it right? so i said of course not because there is. so she siad since athiests say theirs NO God and they cant prove it they must have faith that theirs No God!!!!!!!!! so that made sense to me.

so i said it would be like if some body watched a 3 stogges and it was Moe, Larry and Curly and the person said i have faith theres no Shemp!!!!!!! and i would say OF CURSE theres a Shemp hes just not as good. and the person would say well i didnt see Shemp so their must not be a Shemp because i DIDNT SEE HIM so i have faith that theirs no such thing as Shemp!!!!!! so that makes sense to me because of curse theres a Shemp even thouhg you cant all ways see him. luckily because hes not as good.

then Faith-Ann roled her eyes and said its like our knowlidge of the youniverse is not purfect right? i told her "you can say that again!!!!! i cant even find the BIG DIPER unless someone says theirs the big diper and moves my head where it is"!!!!!!!!!!.

so Faith-Ann siad since we dont know about the youniverse you either have faith in God or you have faith in NO God. so that made sense to me too. because you either have faith that theres a Shemp or your wrogn!!!!!!!!!

some days a hole lot of things make sense to me. the only thing that didnt make sense to me today is how come Jesus could stand being scrooged and wearing a crown with throns and having nails put in his hands and being crossfied but he runs away at the sight of a little puss?


love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Thursday, January 31, 2008

what i was doing when my cuzzen Faith-Ann insuled me

today is my forth blog so ill say what i was doing when my cuzzen Faith-Ann insuled me. i made the BIG mistake of telling her that i was keeping a dairy on the internette. Faith-Ann coudnt beleive that i was doing that because i never kept the dairy she gave me even thouhg it was a pretty green one and came with its own pen. (also green but it wrote BLUE. why?????????) i didnt have the hard to tell her when she first bouhgt it for me that i hate green because it reminds me of what the Gardin of Eden must of looked like before Eve ate the apple and makes me sad. so i just told her i hate dairys. which just goes to show that you shoud NEVER lie even just about dairies because Jesus is washing you and you will GET CAUHGT!!!!!!!!!

so i told Faith-Ann about my dairy on the internette and she wanted to see it so i told her how to push the right buttons and she came. so she read some of what i wrot here (in case your wandering, not this because i didnt write it yet because it didnt happen yet) and she shook her head and made the usual cracks about my bad speling and my poor gramma.

well, O.k my gramma wasnt a good speler too and niether was my grampa. so WHAT?????!!!!!!! did Jesus Christ love them less than good spelers???? i dont think so. they looked just as happy when they deid as every body else does who goes to the pieceful rest funreal home. i dont think my gramma ever wore mock up in her hole life before she was dead so that must of been intaresting for her. im SURE my grampa never wore mock up before that!!!!!!!! and i bet he dindnt like it. he use to say h’ed never wear lip stick like those homos do. (in case you dont know were suppose to call them gays today but their still homos and all of them wear lip stick even Ted Haggard when he was a homo for six months but now hes well agian thank God!!!!) oxcept over his dead body. so thats what he did.

prabobly Jesus liked the mock up because he wants Christians to BE good and to LOOK good. my preacher all ways says that when some body comes sloppy to chruch on Sunday. usally that person is unbarassed and gives a little eggstra in the plate. i know because its some times me and it costs me a dollar if i forget to put on maskara.

so when Faith-Ann looked at my blog she asked me what was all the stuff on the right side. so i siad their other places you can clink. and she clinked on the top one bbs and she had a absolut FIT when she saw all the dirty things. i didnt even relize how dirty because i thouhgt bbs wrote about stinky PENS because i geuss i didnt read care fully enouhg. how come i is such a skinny letter when its so impotent???? now im affrayed to read any more. Ewwww!!!!!!!

and then Faith-Ann clinked on others and she siad that they were all ATHIEST!!!!!!!! so i told her dont say i didn’t warn you it says some of them are athiest and she siad not SOME. ALL. but she didn’t clink on all of them so how does she know??? so thats when she insuled me. she siad to me “Jesus Christ is the one true savor who came to Earth and was crossfied for you and now all you do is read athiest????????” and she siad pretty soon ill be on some athiest list all over the internette and i said unpossable because im not one. and she said just wait and see. and i said Jesus knows whats in my mind and its nothing.

and then i siad they could put me on every athiest list in the hole world even the ones NOT on the internette and i still woudnt hate God or Jesus Christ. and she siad too bad because athiest lists one hundred pissent garrantee that you will go to HELLL!!!!!!!!! and i siad not if your not really an athiest. and she said yes really. and i siad no really. so we siad yes and no for about an our and then she had to go home because it was getting late and we forgot what we were argueing about.

so if you see my name on any athiest lists dont beleive them because im NOT!!!!!!!!!

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

what i was wandering about when i was walking my dog Luke

today is my third blog so ill say what i was wandering about when i was walking my dog Luke this morning. in case you didnt know, Luke is a book in the Bible. beleive it or not it is also the name of the opossum who wrote that book!!!!! i think thats unbelevible!!!!!!! its like if somebody named Harry Pooter wrote the Harry Pooter books.

bye the way, you shount read the Harry Pooter books if you dont like to hear about wizzerds. thats why i didnt read them!!!!! wizzerds pray to SATIN!!!!! just so youll know in case your an athiest, Satin is BAD. even if your an athiest, please PLEASE dont pray to him!!!!! pray to any body but him. (but try God first because He loves you and He gets VERY mad if you pray to some body else and some times He takes it out on every body in your hole town!!!!!). so i didnt read the Harry Pooter books but i saw the movies because i heard they were really good and a bunch of us girls decided to sneak into one when no body else woud know from our chruch but the chruch piannist was their with her boy freind (NOT husband yet!!!) and his dauhgter (from a different NOT wife) so we all tryed to make beleive we didnt see one and other but his dauhgter called out really loud hey theres trinity and faith-ann and every body else we were with so we waved. also one other difference between books and movies is in movis theirs popcorn with butter but not in books so much. even if you just rent the BVDs you can make popcorn in the micrawave with REAL butter flaver (that tastes just like fake butter.)

so like i siad, i was walking my dog Luke this morning. its not important to what i was wandering about but i shoud tell you that Luke is a girl dog. i named her Luke because the ONLY good Bible names i coud think of for girls was Mary and i use to have a hamster named Mary when i was little so the name makes me sad because Mary deid when she fell out of the car windoe because i thouhgt she needed some air. even now i still think she looked hot on that weel in her cage. i only wish i had rubed her with an ice cube from my big glup instead of holding her out the windoe. so thats why i picked Luke because it is not Mary and it reminds me of luck. wer'e not suppose to beleive in luck at my chruch but some times i do when i get lucky.

so heres what i was wandering about when i was walking my dog Luke. i saw a sine that said vote for Mike Huckabee (yay!) and i started to think about when he will be presedant. and wont God be happy that the hole cuntry voted for Mike Huckabee (yay!)???? so wont it be time for all Americans to all get taken up to HEAVE in the rupture?? and we wont know when it will hapen but ALL OF A SODDEN weel rise straihgt into the sky. and the poeple left behind will just look up at us as we hed into the clowds. and theil prabobly be able to see UP OUR DRESS!!!!!!

so then i remembered that i had stained under pants on. so i was unbarassed.

so its a good thing i thouhgt about that because i went home and changed into clean!!!!!! (and put on a better bra, two)! because you never know and i want to look good when i meet Jesus.

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Sunday, January 27, 2008

what i was talking about on the fone with my cuzzen Faith-Ann

today is my second blog so ill say what i was talking about on the fone tonigt with my cuzzen Faith-Ann. she called to tell me that Brock O’Bomma won the s. carolinea prymerry. i dont know what that means but i hope hes not are presadant soon because i want Mike Huckabee (yay!) Mike Huckabee (yay!) is a true Christian and Brock O’Bomma use to be a black muslem and sold drugs. hes still black (in case you didn’t know, Mike Huckabee is WHITE!) but now he is a BIG Christian. i dont see how you go from working in a drugstore to be presadant. Mike Huckabee (yay!) use to be a preacher. i dont think he ever worked in a drugstore or even a suppermarket.

my cuzzen Faith-Anns old boy freinds sister lives in s. carolinea. so she told me that Brock O’Bomma has a panflit that talks about he is a comited Christian. Faith-Ann saw it because her old boy freinds sister sent it to him as a joke and he sent it to my cuzzen Faith-Ann as a joke. but i dont think Christians is a joke even if its a demmacrat.

On the panflit is alot of pictrues of Brock O’Bomma and crosses and strained glas windoes. The panflit says that Brock O’Bomma is called to Christ. so BIG dele! who ISNT called to Christ oxcept athiests??? he is like me and Faith-Ann and a thousand milian bilian other poeple in the world. Mike Huckabee (yay!) is alos called to Christ and he doesnt even need a panflit about it. poeple just know because hes a ripubelican.

heres a joke the preacher at my chruch made up from the Bible and from Brock O’Bomma.

in the Bible bad things are called an obamanation. so i hope we dont become an O’Bomma nation.

Get it? Me niether at first, but the preacher explaned it to the hole congergation really slow. i really injoy going to chruch because we get to learn about the Bible AND who to vote for.

so far ill vote for Mike Huckabee (yay)! but im glad Brock O'Bommas a Christian too. even if muslems and athiests and juws and crimminals and immagrints and athiests and other bad poeple illect him we still get some body in charge who is comited to Christ. thank God!!!!! other wise who knows what mihgt happen to America?????

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Friday, January 25, 2008

what i was thinking about while i was floozing my teeth

this is my dairy. you may be soprized that im putting out on the internette. but you might like to read it and it cost me free. your suppose to do a dairy every day but i prabobly wont because you know how lazzy i am. (in case you didnt know, im lazzy.) alos poeple say you shoud start each one with "dear dairy" but that sounds stupid to me because im not writing to a dairy, im witing to the internette. if you dont want to read it you dont have to. but i hope you do (its free for you too)!!! so if you all ready read the internette please read this and if you dont read the internette how come?

today is my first blog so ill say what i was thinking about while i was floozing my teeth this morning (after i woke up). i some times think of interseting things while im floozing my teeth or taking a shower or coming my hair or sorry, even sitting on the you-know-who. all those bath room things that arent baths but you do them their any way. thats where i some times think when i have nothing on my mind.

so here are ten reasons why every body shoud beleive in Jesus Christ. you may of all ready thouhgt of some of these but mabye not. (you can read them in the Bible. so you know their all TRUE)!!!.
1- Jesus turned the bread into wine,
2- Jesus saved the woman from stonning because she was an adult,
3- Jesus razed Lazeris,
4- Jesus made a lame person walk (just so you know, when the Bible says lame it is not like a lame joke or a lame axcuse. it is a person who cant walk and Jesus made him).,
3- Jesus loves you!!! (alot)!!!!,
5- if you dont beleive in Jesus he will send you to h-e-l-l-l!!! so why take a chance????,
6- Jesus walked in water. (im not kidding!!! NO fotoshop!!!!!!!!,
7- Jesus heeled the leapers (thats a dissease where things fall off there body!!!),
7- Jesus gave the Surmon of the Month,
8- Jesus was the Word with God from the very beginnng. (the Bible doesnt say what word it was but i think it must of was a simple one to spel for every body in Bible times. like A or I or THE or AND or mabye NOSE or prabobly just JESUS).
10- the crossifixation where he died for are sins,.

so thats ten reasons. there are other ones just as good but i dint think of them while i was floozing so their not here.

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),