Thursday, January 31, 2008

what i was doing when my cuzzen Faith-Ann insuled me

today is my forth blog so ill say what i was doing when my cuzzen Faith-Ann insuled me. i made the BIG mistake of telling her that i was keeping a dairy on the internette. Faith-Ann coudnt beleive that i was doing that because i never kept the dairy she gave me even thouhg it was a pretty green one and came with its own pen. (also green but it wrote BLUE. why?????????) i didnt have the hard to tell her when she first bouhgt it for me that i hate green because it reminds me of what the Gardin of Eden must of looked like before Eve ate the apple and makes me sad. so i just told her i hate dairys. which just goes to show that you shoud NEVER lie even just about dairies because Jesus is washing you and you will GET CAUHGT!!!!!!!!!

so i told Faith-Ann about my dairy on the internette and she wanted to see it so i told her how to push the right buttons and she came. so she read some of what i wrot here (in case your wandering, not this because i didnt write it yet because it didnt happen yet) and she shook her head and made the usual cracks about my bad speling and my poor gramma.

well, O.k my gramma wasnt a good speler too and niether was my grampa. so WHAT?????!!!!!!! did Jesus Christ love them less than good spelers???? i dont think so. they looked just as happy when they deid as every body else does who goes to the pieceful rest funreal home. i dont think my gramma ever wore mock up in her hole life before she was dead so that must of been intaresting for her. im SURE my grampa never wore mock up before that!!!!!!!! and i bet he dindnt like it. he use to say h’ed never wear lip stick like those homos do. (in case you dont know were suppose to call them gays today but their still homos and all of them wear lip stick even Ted Haggard when he was a homo for six months but now hes well agian thank God!!!!) oxcept over his dead body. so thats what he did.

prabobly Jesus liked the mock up because he wants Christians to BE good and to LOOK good. my preacher all ways says that when some body comes sloppy to chruch on Sunday. usally that person is unbarassed and gives a little eggstra in the plate. i know because its some times me and it costs me a dollar if i forget to put on maskara.

so when Faith-Ann looked at my blog she asked me what was all the stuff on the right side. so i siad their other places you can clink. and she clinked on the top one bbs and she had a absolut FIT when she saw all the dirty things. i didnt even relize how dirty because i thouhgt bbs wrote about stinky PENS because i geuss i didnt read care fully enouhg. how come i is such a skinny letter when its so impotent???? now im affrayed to read any more. Ewwww!!!!!!!

and then Faith-Ann clinked on others and she siad that they were all ATHIEST!!!!!!!! so i told her dont say i didn’t warn you it says some of them are athiest and she siad not SOME. ALL. but she didn’t clink on all of them so how does she know??? so thats when she insuled me. she siad to me “Jesus Christ is the one true savor who came to Earth and was crossfied for you and now all you do is read athiest????????” and she siad pretty soon ill be on some athiest list all over the internette and i said unpossable because im not one. and she said just wait and see. and i said Jesus knows whats in my mind and its nothing.

and then i siad they could put me on every athiest list in the hole world even the ones NOT on the internette and i still woudnt hate God or Jesus Christ. and she siad too bad because athiest lists one hundred pissent garrantee that you will go to HELLL!!!!!!!!! and i siad not if your not really an athiest. and she said yes really. and i siad no really. so we siad yes and no for about an our and then she had to go home because it was getting late and we forgot what we were argueing about.

so if you see my name on any athiest lists dont beleive them because im NOT!!!!!!!!!

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

what i was wandering about when i was walking my dog Luke

today is my third blog so ill say what i was wandering about when i was walking my dog Luke this morning. in case you didnt know, Luke is a book in the Bible. beleive it or not it is also the name of the opossum who wrote that book!!!!! i think thats unbelevible!!!!!!! its like if somebody named Harry Pooter wrote the Harry Pooter books.

bye the way, you shount read the Harry Pooter books if you dont like to hear about wizzerds. thats why i didnt read them!!!!! wizzerds pray to SATIN!!!!! just so youll know in case your an athiest, Satin is BAD. even if your an athiest, please PLEASE dont pray to him!!!!! pray to any body but him. (but try God first because He loves you and He gets VERY mad if you pray to some body else and some times He takes it out on every body in your hole town!!!!!). so i didnt read the Harry Pooter books but i saw the movies because i heard they were really good and a bunch of us girls decided to sneak into one when no body else woud know from our chruch but the chruch piannist was their with her boy freind (NOT husband yet!!!) and his dauhgter (from a different NOT wife) so we all tryed to make beleive we didnt see one and other but his dauhgter called out really loud hey theres trinity and faith-ann and every body else we were with so we waved. also one other difference between books and movies is in movis theirs popcorn with butter but not in books so much. even if you just rent the BVDs you can make popcorn in the micrawave with REAL butter flaver (that tastes just like fake butter.)

so like i siad, i was walking my dog Luke this morning. its not important to what i was wandering about but i shoud tell you that Luke is a girl dog. i named her Luke because the ONLY good Bible names i coud think of for girls was Mary and i use to have a hamster named Mary when i was little so the name makes me sad because Mary deid when she fell out of the car windoe because i thouhgt she needed some air. even now i still think she looked hot on that weel in her cage. i only wish i had rubed her with an ice cube from my big glup instead of holding her out the windoe. so thats why i picked Luke because it is not Mary and it reminds me of luck. wer'e not suppose to beleive in luck at my chruch but some times i do when i get lucky.

so heres what i was wandering about when i was walking my dog Luke. i saw a sine that said vote for Mike Huckabee (yay!) and i started to think about when he will be presedant. and wont God be happy that the hole cuntry voted for Mike Huckabee (yay!)???? so wont it be time for all Americans to all get taken up to HEAVE in the rupture?? and we wont know when it will hapen but ALL OF A SODDEN weel rise straihgt into the sky. and the poeple left behind will just look up at us as we hed into the clowds. and theil prabobly be able to see UP OUR DRESS!!!!!!

so then i remembered that i had stained under pants on. so i was unbarassed.

so its a good thing i thouhgt about that because i went home and changed into clean!!!!!! (and put on a better bra, two)! because you never know and i want to look good when i meet Jesus.

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Sunday, January 27, 2008

what i was talking about on the fone with my cuzzen Faith-Ann

today is my second blog so ill say what i was talking about on the fone tonigt with my cuzzen Faith-Ann. she called to tell me that Brock O’Bomma won the s. carolinea prymerry. i dont know what that means but i hope hes not are presadant soon because i want Mike Huckabee (yay!) Mike Huckabee (yay!) is a true Christian and Brock O’Bomma use to be a black muslem and sold drugs. hes still black (in case you didn’t know, Mike Huckabee is WHITE!) but now he is a BIG Christian. i dont see how you go from working in a drugstore to be presadant. Mike Huckabee (yay!) use to be a preacher. i dont think he ever worked in a drugstore or even a suppermarket.

my cuzzen Faith-Anns old boy freinds sister lives in s. carolinea. so she told me that Brock O’Bomma has a panflit that talks about he is a comited Christian. Faith-Ann saw it because her old boy freinds sister sent it to him as a joke and he sent it to my cuzzen Faith-Ann as a joke. but i dont think Christians is a joke even if its a demmacrat.

On the panflit is alot of pictrues of Brock O’Bomma and crosses and strained glas windoes. The panflit says that Brock O’Bomma is called to Christ. so BIG dele! who ISNT called to Christ oxcept athiests??? he is like me and Faith-Ann and a thousand milian bilian other poeple in the world. Mike Huckabee (yay!) is alos called to Christ and he doesnt even need a panflit about it. poeple just know because hes a ripubelican.

heres a joke the preacher at my chruch made up from the Bible and from Brock O’Bomma.

in the Bible bad things are called an obamanation. so i hope we dont become an O’Bomma nation.

Get it? Me niether at first, but the preacher explaned it to the hole congergation really slow. i really injoy going to chruch because we get to learn about the Bible AND who to vote for.

so far ill vote for Mike Huckabee (yay)! but im glad Brock O'Bommas a Christian too. even if muslems and athiests and juws and crimminals and immagrints and athiests and other bad poeple illect him we still get some body in charge who is comited to Christ. thank God!!!!! other wise who knows what mihgt happen to America?????

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),


Friday, January 25, 2008

what i was thinking about while i was floozing my teeth

this is my dairy. you may be soprized that im putting out on the internette. but you might like to read it and it cost me free. your suppose to do a dairy every day but i prabobly wont because you know how lazzy i am. (in case you didnt know, im lazzy.) alos poeple say you shoud start each one with "dear dairy" but that sounds stupid to me because im not writing to a dairy, im witing to the internette. if you dont want to read it you dont have to. but i hope you do (its free for you too)!!! so if you all ready read the internette please read this and if you dont read the internette how come?

today is my first blog so ill say what i was thinking about while i was floozing my teeth this morning (after i woke up). i some times think of interseting things while im floozing my teeth or taking a shower or coming my hair or sorry, even sitting on the you-know-who. all those bath room things that arent baths but you do them their any way. thats where i some times think when i have nothing on my mind.

so here are ten reasons why every body shoud beleive in Jesus Christ. you may of all ready thouhgt of some of these but mabye not. (you can read them in the Bible. so you know their all TRUE)!!!.
1- Jesus turned the bread into wine,
2- Jesus saved the woman from stonning because she was an adult,
3- Jesus razed Lazeris,
4- Jesus made a lame person walk (just so you know, when the Bible says lame it is not like a lame joke or a lame axcuse. it is a person who cant walk and Jesus made him).,
3- Jesus loves you!!! (alot)!!!!,
5- if you dont beleive in Jesus he will send you to h-e-l-l-l!!! so why take a chance????,
6- Jesus walked in water. (im not kidding!!! NO fotoshop!!!!!!!!,
7- Jesus heeled the leapers (thats a dissease where things fall off there body!!!),
7- Jesus gave the Surmon of the Month,
8- Jesus was the Word with God from the very beginnng. (the Bible doesnt say what word it was but i think it must of was a simple one to spel for every body in Bible times. like A or I or THE or AND or mabye NOSE or prabobly just JESUS).
10- the crossifixation where he died for are sins,.

so thats ten reasons. there are other ones just as good but i dint think of them while i was floozing so their not here.

love and xxx (from me AND Jesus),